The Wizard, Witch and the GenderConfused Hatmaker
by OtomeLuver
Summary: What happens when a male hatmaker who longs for adventure gets turned into a girl? And then gets caught up with a fire demon, turnip-man stalker, wizard's apprentice, and the wizard he thinks he might love? YAOI WARNING! Howl/Harry
1. Flight, Warnings, and Idiotic Guys

Hello! Otome here! Well, here's my second story. I was originally planning on just doing one story at a time, until I got used to writing fanfiction like this, but I saw a challenge, and… I just couldn't pass it up.

_- __**Harry Potter/Howl's Moving Castle:**__ Harry has always wished for adventure since everyday he worked in a hat shop for his aunt and uncle. But what he didn't want was for a wizard to sweep him off his feet, a evil witch to turn him into a GIRL! Get stalked by a scare crow and get picked up by Howl's Moving Castle! __**(Harry/Howl)**_

That was the description, and I couldn't resist. Anyway, I hope you like it! *crosses fingers* I tried to be true to the movie. As in, I would watch some, pause it, and then write.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Howl's Moving Castle, OR the story idea.

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As long as anyone could remember, the castle had walked the hills and fields by our town, Grimmauld. It wasn't really a castle, per se, more a walking pile of junk enchanted by magic. A wizard lived there, so of course it was magic.

Everyone called it Howl's Moving Castle. Why? It was believed that the wizard was named Howl, though no one had ever seen him. The castle was seen quite frequently, but usually by the shepherds living out in the fields with their flocks. Whenever it came close enough to be seen by the town, everyone gathered, excited.

Why? It was just walking junk, magic or no. However, most people didn't see it that way.

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A train rumbled by the window, sending up smoke as it went. Probably the Hogwarts Express. It passed by a lot.

A boy sat by the window, focused on his work of sewing accessories onto a hat. He had ebony hair, long ebony hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, and eyes, a startling emerald green. His structure was delicate, girlish, as was his outfit, though it was pants, and not a skirt or dress. Nevertheless, he looked like either a very girly boy, or a slightly tomboyish girl. Both of which irked him, though he attempted to hide it.

"Boy!" His head snapped up as his Aunt Petunia called him. She stood in the doorway, frown on her face, and he tensed, as if waiting a punishment. "You better finish all those hats before you go, boy. Got it?" Harry nodded, swallowing slightly, and then let his breath escape him as she turned away, clearly down with him.

"Girls!" his Aunt called, motioning towards the female workers at the hat shop. "Come on, let's go." They complied, talking, chattering and giggling as they grabbed their hats, their purses, and whatever else girls bring with them when they go places.

"Wait! It's Howl's Castle!" One of the girls shrieked, dashing to the window in the other room. The others quickly followed, chattering in excitement. Harry was glad, at that moment, that he couldn't see his Aunt Petunia. She would be looking mighty pissed around then, and she would most likely take it out on her nephew. Harry didn't understand why, but she was completely against all forms of magic. Not that there were many in a small town like this, but Howl's Castle was definitely one of those.

He looked out, and saw Howl's Castle, disappearing into the mist. A sigh escaped his lips as the war planes passed over that spot. Stupid planes. Taking away the one thing that could bring a bit of excitement… For that's what he longed for. Not necessarily excitement, but adventure. Anything to get away from the dreariness that was his life, and to get away from his Aunt and Uncle. Oh, and don't forget his insufferable cousin, Dudley.

"He's gone!"

"No, he's just hiding in the fog from those planes."

"Did you hear about that girl Martha from South Haven? They say Howl tore her heart out."

"Now I'm too scared to go out!"

"Don't you worry, he only preys on pretty girls!"

All the girls laughed, and a ghost of a smile flickered over Harry's face, before he returned to focus on his hat-making. As such, he didn't hear the girl's come up behind him. "And pretty boys." They whispered, blowing on the back of Harry's neck. He jumped, startled, grabbing the spot where they blew.

Laughing, one of the girl's warned Harry, "You better watch out! Howl likes pretty boys more than he likes pretty girls! So you're in trouble!" He waved them off, slightly peeved, and focused on his hat once more.

He could hear his Aunt Petunia calling the girls, and they left, only those three remembering to say good-bye. Ginny, Cho, and Luna. They were the nicest out of all the hat-making girls, though they loved to tease him. Those three were probably the closest thing he had to friends, besides Hermione though he didn't really consider them as such. Still… he would've preferred having them here right now. It was silent in the shop, and their words kept ringing in Harry's ears.

The Hogwarts Express ran by again, just as Harry finished the hat he was working on. Placing it on a hat stand, he looked through the stacks of plain hats, finally selecting a red one. He liked red. Red and gold, though he didn't know why. They were quite pretty together, and made him think of adventures, and bravery, for some reason.

Harry sighed, looking down at the hat. He really didn't want to stay and work on any more. Perhaps he could weasel his way out of doing them? Getting out of the chair where he had sat for what seemed like all day, Harry stretched, and then slapped his behind, trying to get some feeling into it. "Ugh…"

Quickly, he gathered up all the unadorned hats, and put them into the storage room, where they were kept. It took four trips, but, hey, at least he wouldn't have to decorate all of them. When it was like this, it seemed as if he HAD done all the work. No way in hell was Harry actually going to sit here and do twenty-some hats.

Grabbing his blue jacket, and pulling it on over his shirt, Harry doused all the lights, blowing out the candles and such. Time to pack up the shop.

He left, locking the door to the workplace behind him, and went up the stairs to the back entrance of the shop. Once in, he surveyed himself in the mirror. Harry wore a white short-sleeved shirt, with the blue jacket over it. For bottoms, he wore a pair of loose blue pants, made of cotton and nice and comfy. Black boots covered his feet, though he had tucked them underneath his pants.

Seeing his reflection, Harry sighed. He looked too, well, girlish. The fifteen-year-old had lost count of how many times he had been mistaken for a girl, and, really, it was getting old. Quickly. Frowning at his reflection one more time, he stuck out his tongue, and then laughed slightly at his childish antics.

Leaving the building, he locked the door to the shop. A few planes roared overhead, but that was a common sight, really. After all, there was a war going on.

Harry dashed quickly across the streets, avoiding all the cars and such, and catching a crowded bus just in time. He hung on the outside, holding onto a handle, with his loose pants blowing in the wind. Harry didn't like it when his pants did that, because it made him feel like he was wearing a skirt or dress.

Skirt/Dress issues aside, from where he was standing, the boy had a pretty clear view of what was going on. Tanks rolled underneath the bridges, soldiers marched in perfect formation, the cavalry with their highly trained horses, and the people cheering.

Sighing, Harry made his way through the vast crowd, displeased with the whole thing. Sure, he wanted adventure, but war was something else all together. People… died.

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_A toddler Harry smiled up at his mother, with her russet-colored hair. She laughed, their identical eyes twinkling, and looked up as her husband burst through the door. He had messy black hair, just as his young son did. However, he looked worried. "Lily! They're coming!"_

_Her eyes widened in fear, and she scooped up Harry, dashing for the door. Before the couple and their child could make it through, soldiers appeared in the door._

_They immediately shot Lily, and she crumpled dead to the floor, Harry in her arms. "Lily!" James yelled, shifting in a stag form and charging the soldiers. Several were impaled on his horns, before he began to get filled with lead, riddled with bullets._

_The little Harry blinked, and proceeded to tug on his mother's shirt. "Mama. Mama."_

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According to his Aunt and Uncle, his parents had been killed because they were spies, and it was only through their grace that Harry hadn't been killed along with them. He wasn't sure that was the case, though. Even if his parents WERE spies, wouldn't they just be locked up? And besides, why would they kill a one-year-old kid, even in that situation?

Harry sighed, making his way through back-alleys, as so not to get caught up in the crowd. But… he felt like he was lost. Pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket, he examined it, squinting slightly. What the hell kind of map was this? The boy might have to brave the crowds after all, unfortunately.

He was too busy looking at the map, however, to watch where he was going. Harry looked up, just in time to catch himself. He had almost run into a man. Gasping, he took a step back, looking up at the blonde soldier. "Hey, look's like a little mouse lost its way."

Harry knew this type. They were flirts, either mistaking him for a girl, or not caring at all. "I'm not lost," he lied indignantly to the man, shaking his head. Internally, he was screaming: _WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU CALLING A MOUSE!?_

"This little mouse looks thirsty. We should take her for a cup of tea." He spoke again, and another soldier appeared from behind him, brown-haired with a mustache. Presumably older than the first.

"I don't want any damn tea," Harry told them, trying to hide the quaver in his voice. He was pissed, because they were, well, here, and because they thought he was a girl. Honestly, what girls wear pants!? Really!? But he was also frightened, though he didn't know how you could be both at the exact same time. It didn't make much sense to him, and, yet, he was the one who was experiencing both emotions.

"Pretty cute, for a mouse," his friend spoke up, making Harry swallow in fear. "And feisty, too." The soldier leaned in, making the boy take a step back.

"So what's your name? How old are you? Do you live around here?" The blonde began firing off questions, making Harry take another step back.

"Leave me alone!" he demanded, both anger and fear swelling up inside of him.

The blonde laughed, turning to his friend. "See, your mustache scares off all the girls."

That was it, that was the last straw. Harry was pissed. "I'm not a-!" He began, but was cut off as a hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Sorry I kept you waiting, sweetheart. I was looking everywhere for you." Harry looked up, and saw a blonde man with longish hair, though not as long as Harry's, and crystal blue eyes.

"Hey, hey, we're busy here!" The blonde snarled at the newcomer, clearly displeased.

"Really?" the newcomer asked, sounding amused. "It looked to me like the two of you were just leaving." He flicked his finger several times, and they straightened up, and marched off in military style. Harry's eyes widened as he looked back up at the man. A wizard! Excitement filled him. A real live wizard!

"Don't hold it against them. They're actually not all that bad," the wizard told him. Harry nodded, too stunned and scared to speak. "Where to? I'll be your escort this evening." He leaned in slightly, making Harry draw back a tinge. Did the wizard know he was a boy? Probably not, or else he wouldn't have been saved.

"Oh, umm…" Normally, Harry would've shrugged off the person, as he would want to be independent, take care of himself, and not be by a person who thought he was a girl, but… It was a wizard, after all! How many people would pass up that chance? "J-Just to the bakery. My friend works there."

The wizard leaned in a tad more. "Don't be alarmed, but I'm being followed," he told him, his voice barely above a whisper. "Act normal." He offered his arm, and Harry took it, holding on to it perhaps a bit more tightly than what was necessary. A slight smirk came onto the wizard's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, making Harry wonder if he had just imagined it.

Harry exhaled quietly, holding back a flood of questions. Even if he was a wizard, the boy still had an overflow of curious questions, but he figured that wouldn't be "acting normal". Too bad, because he really wanted to know some things. Like the wizard's name, why he was being followed… things like that.

Silently, they walked through the back ways. Oh God, he was nervous. A bit scared too, but the whole thing was sort of exhilarating. Strange noises came from behind them, and Harry attempted to see what they were coming from without moving his head. He was unable to, but the wizard spoke, "Sorry. Looks like you're involved."

He gasped, looking ahead of them, and then clutched tightly at the wizard. There were things… black, gooey figures with hats sliding out of the wall. Harry was squeezing the wizard's arm tightly, and his other hand went up to grasp at the wizard's shirt, pulling it into a fist in his hands. Oh God. Sure, he wanted adventure, but this was frightening. This was magic, and that was something that Harry knew virtually nothing about.

The wizard pulled him to a back way on the side. "This way." The creature-things followed them as the pair sped up, passing by a sleeping homeless man… But more appeared, coming out of the wall a bit in front of them. Harry gasped, but the wizard spoke again. "Hold on." Hold on to what? Desperately, he tightened his grip on the young man, as the wizard grabbed him around the waist.

They shot up in the air, like flying, leaving the creatures behind to crash into each other. Harry gasped for like the fifth time, curling himself up into the air. "Now, straighten your legs, and start walking." For a moment, Harry thought the wizard was kidding, but the young man did it, so Harry copied him, straightening his legs. There was still nothing underneath them, not in feeling or in sight, but he began walking, one foot in front of the other. Gasping once more, the boy let out a laugh, delighted. Sure, it was weird, but it was so cool!

He could see the town underneath them, and it was like they were a moving floor, and they were walking on top of it. "See? Not so hard, is it?" the wizard asking, smiling. The young man was holding Harry's hands in the air, holding on to both of them gently yet firmly. Harry shook his head, his mouth and face so overcome with the sheer delight of it all that he couldn't speak.

The wizard laughed slightly at Harry's delight as they passed over the square. It was pure wonder to Harry that none of them looked up and saw them, but he felt like waving to the people below, and would've, had his hands been free. Of course, the boy had NO qualms at all with having the wizard hold his hands. A faint blush came onto his face as he thought that, but he dismissed it with a shake of the head.

"You are a natural," the wizard praised him, as they stepped from one rooftop to the next, before continuing their walk in midair.

Harry smiled up at him, before returning his eyes to the ground. "It's amazing," he murmured, unable to take his eyes off of it. The young man didn't reply, but merely squeezed Harry's hands for a moment, causing the boy to turn a very light shade of pink.

They stepped through the air, alighting on the railing of the balcony of the bakery. The wizard gently lowered Harry to the floor, removing one of his hands, but still holding on with another. "I'll be sure to draw them off. But wait a bit before you go outside."

The boy nodded as their hands parted. "Will do."

"That's my boy."

Harry's eyes widened, and an expression of shock came over his face. "Y-You knew I was a b-boy? Not that I wanted you to not know, it's that…" Realizing he was blabbering, he shut his mouth, turning a light shade of pink.

The wizard merely smiled, before bending over and taking Harry's hand in his own. Bending over, he brushed his lips over the hand, then releasing it. The boy turned pink. Wow, his face was getting darker every time, wasn't it?

The young man stepped backwards off of the balcony railing, falling, but slower than a normal person would. Gasping in fear and worry for the wizard, Harry ran to the railing, but was surprised to see no one there. The mysterious wizard had vanished.

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Quickly, Harry told his friend, Hermione, the whole story. She played with a strand of her curly brown hair, equally as brown eyes thoughtful. "He must've been a wizard, then, if he could do that."

Harry nodded. "That's what I thought, only… I expected wizards to be frightening. He really wasn't…" The boy trailed off, seeking the word. "He was… charming."

"Of course he was! He was trying to steal your heart!" Hermione interjected, flabbergasted at his idiocy. "If that were Howl…" She trailed off as Harry gave her a look. "You need to be more careful out there! With you being who you are, it's dangerous!"

Before Harry could reply, a call came from the kitchen. "Hermione! The chocolate éclairs are done!"

"I'll be right there!" Hermione called back. Her eyes widened in surprise as Harry stood up.

"I just wanted to drop by and see how you were doing." She sighed, realizing that she couldn't win an argument with her best friend.

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The trip home was uneventful. It was mostly Harry thinking about the wizard, as he walked the familiar roads. The boy couldn't decide whether it was because of the charms of the wizard, or of magic, but he decided it didn't matter, after all.

It was dark by the time Harry reached home. Locking the door behind him as he stepped inside, taking off his coat and hanging it up, before going farther into the room. He hadn't left any lamps burning, which might not have been a smart idea, as it was quite dim in the room.

Lighting a lamp, a tinkle at the door warned him that someone had come in. Turning around, his eyes widened slightly at the person. It was an enormously tall, enormously fat woman, with rolls of fat on her neck.

Shaking himself out of his shock, Harry spoke, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but the shop's closed." How'd she get in? Hadn't he locked it? Oh, puzzle it over later, when she was gone.

The looming woman stepped farther into the room. "What a tacky little shop. And what tacky little hats." Harry agreed with her, at least a little, on those sentiments, but apparently she wasn't through, turning to look at him. "But you're by far the tackiest thing here."

Harry stiffened, moving to put the counter between him and the woman. Something didn't… feel right about her. It was a frightened feeling, and he didn't like it. It reminded him of the goo creatures, from earlier with the wizard. "Ma'am, if you're just here to insult this shop, then I'm afraid you'll have to leave." Mustering up all his courage, he walked past her, opening the door. "The door's over here. Like I said, we're closed." A bit of irritation crept into his voice. God, would the freakish woman just leave already?

She turned, a bit of a surprised and yet satisfied look on her face. "Standing up to the Witch of the Waste, now that's plucky."

Gasping as her words sunk in, Harry spoke, "The Witch of the Waste?" Hearing a familiar sound, he turned to see two more of those things from earlier, albeit more dressed up. Harry turned back towards the inside, hoping to get away that way, but…

The Witch had grown bigger, and slightly transparent. With a woosh, she passed over and what felt like through Harry, leaving him crumpled slightly on the floor, his breathing ragged. "The best part of that spell is that you can't tell anyone. Send my regards to Howl." The door shut behind her, leaving Harry on the floor, listening to his uneven breaths. Howl? How did he know that guy?

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Woo! It's over! That was, what, 10 ½ minutes of the movie? At this rate, it'll take forever. Don't matter, though, I like it.

So far, I haven't changed much of the story story itself, though I plan to do that later on. It'll be much easier when Harry's under the curse.

Please, R and R!


	2. Castration and Explanations

Woo! Here's the next chappie!

Umm… Yeah, I've got no excuse at all… Sorry! *dodges tomatoes* I was without a computer for at least 2 and a half months, but besides that… got nothing… But for you people who were complaining I Stuck to the movie too much, well, here ya go! This is much different!

**Ships: **Howl/Harry, Ron/Hermione

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_She turned, a bit of a surprised and yet satisfied look on her face. "Standing up to the Witch of the Waste, now that's plucky."_

_Gasping as her words sunk in, Harry spoke, "The Witch of the Waste?" Hearing a familiar sound, he turned to see two more of those things from earlier, albeit more dressed up. Harry turned back towards the inside, hoping to get away that way, but…_

_The Witch had grown bigger, and slightly transparent. With a woosh, she passed over and what felt like through Harry, leaving him crumpled slightly on the floor, his breathing ragged. "The best part of that spell is that you can't tell anyone. Send my regards to Howl." The door shut behind her, leaving Harry on the floor, listening to his uneven breaths. Howl? How did he know that guy?_

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The train rolled by, again. As like every morning. However, this was a bit different than normal. Molly Weasley burst into the workshop. "I'm back!" she announced, displaying her wares.

"Mom!"

"Molly!"

"Mrs. Weasley!" The three cries came from Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and Cho Chang. Molly Weasley smiled at them all in turn, the girls she had taken especially under her wing. However, she frowned slightly, as she noticed one very important face missing.

"Where's Harry?" she asked, worried. The woman had taken the boy under her care, although, legally, the Dursleys still took care of him. They were perfectly happy with the solution, however, as it meant they didn't have to have the one dubbed "boy" around their house, yet they still looked good in the eyes of the law. Oh, how Molly loathed them.

Ginny bit her lip, feeling her mother's worry. Of course, the girl was worried for her adopted brother, too. "He hasn't come downstairs yet. I don't know why." Normally, Harry was one of the first ones up, unless he had stayed up late last night. Which was likely, as he had often done that.

Molly's frown deepened. "I wonder what's wrong…"

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"Harry! Harry!" Molly's voice floated into the room, accompanied by hard knocking at the door. "Why haven't you come down yet?"

The boy in question, hidden fully underneath his covers, bit his lip. What should he do? "Um… I'm not feeling good," he said, in a purposefully raspy voice. "Don't come in!"

The knocks paused, before the trembling vibrations of Mrs. Weasley's voice rang out once more. "A-Are you sure you're okay?"

By her voice, it was all too clear that she was worried about Harry. It made the boy feel all the more guilty for lying to her, but he couldn't tell her! Like, he literally couldn't! Every time he tried to say what had happened, his mouth seized up and refused to make the proper sounds. It was a nightmare, honestly!

Returning his attention to the real world, Harry shook his head, though he knew she couldn't see him. "I'm fine, don't worry," he told her once more in that falsely raspy voice. A clearly audible sigh came through the door, and he could almost imagine the red-headed woman shaking her head in exasperation and disapproval.

"Fine, fine," she told him, her tut-tutting making the image all the more real. "I'll come up with some soup later, okay?" With that, Harry heard the clacking of her heels against the wooden floor, slowly fading as she walked down the steps, away from him.

Thank goodness. She was gone. Now feeling safe, Harry threw off the covers, slipping off of the bed, and then standing before the mirror. He looked almost normal, except…

His lips seemed fuller, more… kissable, he guessed you'd say. His hair was more silky and smooth, reaching down even farther than it had before. Emerald eyes seemed even brighter, cloaked under thick and luxurious eyelashes as they were now. And then… there were the more obvious differences. Two lumps in the middle of his chest. Harry squeezed them. Yep, they were still real. Unfortunately.

More feminine curves, and then an… empty spot between his legs. Harry winced as he thought about that. It made him feel like he'd been castrated, without the pain. Not particularly pleasant to think about.

Sighing, Harry ran a hand through his now not-so-messy hair. What was he going to do? The Dursleys were definitely out. They'd just think he was even more of a 'freak', which Harry never understood in the first place. Mrs. Weasley… He loved the woman and all, but he wouldn't be able to handle it, not from her. She'd fuss, and do her best to find any way possible to erase the curse while taking care of him. Plus, he wouldn't be able to explain about it.

Hmm… He could go to Hermione, and Ron! Hermione would definitely be smart enough to figure out what was going on, even without him being able to talk about it, and Ron would be able to help with Mrs. Weasley, him being her son and all. He still couldn't stay there, though. Just a quick stop by, get Hermione informed, and that would be all.

Harry's eyes widened as an idea came to him. Howl! The witch had wanted him to 'send her regards'! Could Howl maybe help lift the curse? After all, he WAS a wizard, no matter what Hermione said about stealing girls' hearts. And he was more partial to boys, wasn't he? That was what made it all more scandalous, but hey, at least he was a girl now! Howl wouldn't want to be stealing his heart AS much.

The boy-turned-girl's thoughts flickered to the man from yesterday. He was really quite glad that the man had come along, cause he had wanted to pummel the SHIT out of those guys! Unfortunately, the last time he had done that, he had gotten in SO much trouble, and it was only through the grace of Mrs. Weasley that he had eaten the next three weeks. No, so Harry was glad that that wizard had popped along, cause he was close to the breaking point, what with all those lewd comments.

With a sigh, Harry turned away from the mirror, casting one more glance back at his female body. But what should he wear? There would be such a scandal if he went out in boy clothes, even though some idiots didn't even notice those when they hit on him. Then again, wasn't the only reason he didn't go against the rules of society the fear of the Dursleys? They had… No, don't think about it, Harry! They can't hurt you anymore!

Throwing on a pair of blue pants and a white long-sleeved shirt, with a think tank-top underneath on account of his new-found chest, Harry opened the door, peeking around it. His spectacular view of the hallway and part of the stairs yielded no clues as to whether or not there was anyone he knew located near. He supposed that, with the way he was taking things, people he knew would see him long before he could get out of sight, and it would be really hard to explain why he was a girl all of a sudden.

Hmm… What could he use? Now surveying his closet, which was filled mostly with simple pants and shirts, Harry's eyes alighted upon a shimmering grey cloak. Hermione, for all her misgivings, had purchased it for him, claiming it to be an invisibility cloak. Apparently, it used to belong to a pair of wizards who turned traitor to the Crown, and were killed. Much like Howl, only he hadn't gotten caught yet.

Grabbing it, and throwing it around his shoulders, Harry marveled at the way his body seemed to disappear. It didn't really make his body invisible, at least, that was what 'Mione said. She said it became like some sort of lizard, one that could change the color of its skin. Harry didn't get it, but Hermione was usually right when it came to things like this.

So now to find his way to Hermione and Ron, at the bakery. Hermione worked there, obviously, and Ron was sure to be in that vicinity. Why the redhead still denied his attraction, the Boy-Turned-Girl would never know.

Slipping quietly through the door, Harry shut it gently behind him, wincing as it seemed to make an audible click. Hurrying down the stairs, the boy prayed he would not get caught.

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Ronald Bilius Weasley stood in the back of the bakery, waiting impatiently for Hermione. Honestly, couldn't the girl hurry up? It shouldn't take that long to get off a shift. He sighed, running his hand through his red hair, and feeling like Harry. HE was normally the patient one, standing her waiting and sighing.

"Psst." The red-headed seventeen-year-old jumped, whirling around to try to find the source of the whispers. Hell, he could be jumpy. It WAS the middle of a fucking war, after all.

Out of nowhere, a cloth? pulled to reveal a girl that looked so much like their little Harry-chan, it was extremely uncanny and creepy. Eyes widening, Ron was about to speak up to the nervous-looking girl, before he was sort-of interrupted by Hermione. "Sorry I made you wait, there was a-" His bushy-haired friend frowned, spotting the Harry-girl, who was regarding her with hope in her emerald eyes, and turned to look at her quizzically. "Who are you?" Excellent question! Why hadn't HE thought of that?

The girl opened her mouth, hesitated, and then gave a sigh identical to the ones their little friend gave very often, downturning her head. Harry's looks. Harry's sighs. Harry's _cloak_. Ron's eyes widened, and before he could stop himself, the name fell from his lips. "Harry…?" Wait, who was he kidding? This girl was more likely to be Harry's long-lost twin or something.

However, the girl's head jolted upwards, and fixated on him with her wide-eyed, yet familiar, emerald gaze. "Yes…" she breathed, relief evident in every contour of her body.

Hermione's eyes grew huge, and several emotions very familiar to Ron flitted across her face: disbelief, curiousity, and thoughtfulness. Inwardly, he cringed. Oh, if that were really Harry, then he was in for a deep interrogation. However, instead of firing off questions like he expected, the brunette merely narrowed her eyes and asked a very simple question: "How do we know you're Harry?"

The Maybe!Harry looked startled, as if also expecting a different reaction from the other girl. "Umm…" Biting her lip, in a move similar to his best mate, she folded her arms across her chest, as if holding back the world. Just like Harry did, because of those idiotic abusive relatives of his.

Ron started, the evidence apparent in his eyes. NO ONE could emulate his friend THAT well! Taking a few steps, he took Definitely!Harry in his arms, holding her in a tight hug. Harry felt so… different. It felt sort of like hugging 'Mione. "I would think you had been lying about being a girl this whole time, but I've seen you naked before," he told her, pulling the now silently crying girl away from his chest. "So what the hell happened to you?" Calm, Ron, calm. You don't want to freak Harry-chan out.

"Ron!" Hermione berated him, in the same voice he heard when being scolded for his language. "How do you know it's Harry-chan?" The red-head didn't like the disbelieving side of her, but hey, no one was perfect, right?

Flipping his best mate around, hands on… Err… THEIR shoulders, Ron shot Hermione a glare worthy of Severus Snape, one of the meanest Wizards who served the Crown. "Look at her and tell me that she's not Harry!" Wasn't it obvious, just by looking at him? And Ron wasn't talking about just how he looked, but how he carried himself. Those filthy Dursleys… They did such a number on Harry, it was so obvious, even when he changed genders!

Shaking himself out of those murderous thoughts, Ron looked to see how Hermione was taking it. She looked thoughtful, as she had before, and was surreptitiously glancing up and down over Harry, who was still crying silently. Sighing suddenly, a wry smile came across her face. "Harry, you get into this most impossible situations, don't you?" A sniffle and a whimper came from their friend. "So how'd this happen?"

Letting go of Harry, Ron stepped over to where he was facing the girl, waiting for her answer. However, to both of their surprises, she grabbed her neck, and shook her head. "You… can't talk about it?" Ron guessed hesitantly, and was rewarded by a frantic nod.

Hermione shook her head. "Well, it doesn't really matter, does it?" Ron and Harry both turned to look at her like she was absolutely stupid. "Oh come on, you honestly don't see it?" She sighed heavily. "It had to be magic, as nothing else is developed enough to do something like this." Turning to Harry, she directed her fierce gaze at her. "Was it Howl?"

"No," answered Harry, choosing her words very carefully. "It was someone of the opposite gender, and they told me to send their regards to Howl. In a bad way, too." Of course little Harry-chan had to clarify something as small as that.

Ron rolled his eyes, draping his arm over Harry's shoulder. "So a witch told you to say hi to this Howl guy, whom she doesn't like." He frowned slightly. "Isn't he that wacko rebel guy who preys on innocent little boys like Harry-chan and lives in a magical pile of junk?"

"Almost, Ron" Hermione told him, with a completely straight face. "No little boys like Harry-chan. She's a girl, remember?"

"Whatever," Harry spoke up, sounding slightly annoyed. "Anyway, I was planning on visiting Howl, and seeing if he'll turn me back."

Hermione shook her head frantically. "No, Harry! He likes little boys! He'll… He'll…"she seemed at a loss for words, for once in her life, to describe the situation that she felt Harry would be falling into. "You just shouldn't go, Harry!"

Harry scowled. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not a boy, isn't it?" Wow, he was in a bad mood, wasn't he? Then again, switching genders and getting all the awful girl hormones could do that to a guy.

"Honestly, Hermione," Ron spoke up, rolling his eyes at her for the second time today. "I say it's fine. Harry-chan packs a pretty mean punch, too. Remember that brawl a week ago? He's already under threat of arrest, so I'm pretty sure he can take care of Howl, don't you?"

The only normal girl in their group sighed, realizing she was beaten. "Fine," she agreed, sounding completely unhappy about that fact, before she piped up with her condition. "But we're going with you, Harry-chan!"

"No!" Harry immediately replied, jumping out from underneath Ron's arm. "I've probably already made you a target for the mmm by coming here! I can't get you two in even more danger by letting you come along! For whatever reason, the mmm (1) has targeted me, and I don't want her to target you, too!" Great, Harry was in one of those 'saving-people' moods. That meant that no matter where on earth they went with this, he, no, **she** would never give into them.

"Fine," Ron replied, holding up a hand to stall Hermione's protests. "We won't go with you." The amount of relief on Harry's face made Ron feel a little guilty about making conditions for her. Just a little. Not enough to make him stop, though. "But we're writing a note for you to give to Howl that'll explain the situation, and we're going with you till the beginning of the fields. K?" Hermione looked annoyed at the last part of his sentence (2), but didn't say anything, only watching as Harry nodded dutifully, before speaking up.

"Alright, Ron, lets go write that letter!" Hermione announced gleefully, probably looking forward to the prospect of more work. Ron groaned, his shoulders slumping as he began shuffling forward. However, at that moment, his stomach let off a loud grumble, complaining its lack of food, and the red-head who's stomach was in question looked up hopefully at Hermione, who, with arms crossed, rolled her eyes, huffing slightly. "Fine, we can get lunch first," she told him, exasperated smile flickering over her face.

With a whoop of joy, Ron grabbed Harry's hand, dragging the girl along behind him as he headed straight for his favorite restaurant. Bon Appétit!

xxxxxWWGCHxxxxx

Everytime Harry said "mmm" it was because the curse wasn't allowing him to say "witch" in reference to the Witch of the Waste.

She's annoyed at Ron's lack of grammar, and for the fact that she can't bring Harry all the way up to Howl's doorstep.

Thank goodness that's over with! My Word kept freezing up on me, so it took forever to finish this chapter, and it would've been much longer had it not froze up. Anyway, hope you enjoy, and don't throw too many tomatoes, cause I'm going to try not to let it happen again. I'm going to write 250 words a day on busy days, but on days where I have plenty of time, I'm going to write at least 500 words! Plus, as soon as I hit 50 reviews, and later 75, 100, 125, I'll sit right down and finish the chapter. I'm not holding it hostage, cause I'll update, amount of reviews or no, but it's an incentive. Plus, reading a good LONG review (and maybe replying to it) has always been a great motivation for me to go write!


	3. Hermione's First Interlude

Alright, here's the next chapter! Please enjoy the next chapter of "The Wizard, the Witch, and the Gender-Confused Hatmaker"!

**Title: **The Wizard, the Witch, and the Gender-Confused Hatmaker

**Summary: **What happens when a male hatmaker who longs for adventure gets turned into a girl? And then gets caught up with a fire demon, a turnip-man stalker, a wizard's apprentice, and the wizard he thinks he may love?

**Ships:** Howl/Harry, Ron/Hermione

The café was the same as it was always. Pastel colors, all around, neutral, but leaning towards colors identifying with the feminine side. Ron always completely denied that, though. It was never very crowded, being someplace not very well-known, but the freckled boy swore on Merlin's beard that they had the best potatoes in the entire city, no matter how they were cooked. And considering how he ate, he probably had eaten at least one of every kind of potato in the city, so he was probably the best critic to compare.

With a sigh, Hermione followed after her friends, having wrenched herself from Ron's grip quite awhile ago. It was a nice place, but, at least for her, it was always overshadowed by the first time that she, specifically had been in there. That had been the day that Harry had finally gotten away from the Dursleys.

"_Harry, who did this to you?" she asked, horrified, seeing the small boy perched on Ron's lap, who seemed unable to decide whether he should punch something, comfort Harry, or cry._

_His eye was bruised, a complete black eye, and he had a bloody split lip. She could see the fingerprints bruised into his neck, showing that someone had at least held him by it, if not attempted to choke him to death. Just by seeing these bruises, plus his ear which looked like it was beginning to swell, and the fact that there were stains of blood on Harry's hands, Hermione could guess that there were plenty more adorning his entire body. Just the thought of it wanted to make her lose her lunch, and she hadn't even eaten it yet._

"_Was it the Dursleys?" Ron demanded, his freckled face growing red to match his hair. When Harry didn't answer, merely ducked his head and looked ashamedly down, it appeared that his theory was confirmed. "Damn them!"_

_Hermione, unlike Ron, wasn't going into her angry mode, which everyone knew to avoid. Her bushy brown hair frizzed up, her eyes sparkled with fire-filled danger, and her voice was so loud it seemed to shake the building. Today, however, she seemed to droop, like a wilted plant, before reaching over and taking Harry's hand, who flinched slightly, but didn't pull away. "Harry, did they…" It was very hard to say, but she needed to ask it, for Harry's sake. Swallowing, Hermione steeled herself, and began to ask the question again, hoping that it would be a no. "Harry, did they rape you?"_

_Both of the boys stiffened, understandably, and Ron turned to look at Harry, who avoided his gaze for a few moments, before speaking up. "Dudley tried to," he told them, his voice dull and hopeless, as they both listened in horror. "but I fought too much, and got away. Uncle Vernon got quite mad at me, and, well," he waved a pale, skinny hand at himself in a self-deprecating gesture, "this happened. I got away before anything else could happen, though."_

_That was the breaking point for Ron, but fortunately for Harry, he decided to choose his latter two options. Wrapping his freckled arms around the smaller boy, he began to cry into his shoulder, wetting Harry's clothes with his tears. Hermione, however, went into anger mode. Her hair frizzed up, eyes flashed with fire, and she clenched her hands into fists so tightly that her nails cut into her ink-stained palms. The bookworm was spitting mad. "I can't! What! I mean!" Calming down slightly enough to actually be able to express herself, Hermione continued, eyes still flashing with rage. "They are going to pay for this!"_

_And like that, the Golden Trio was cemented together forevermore._

Shaking away her morose thoughts of the past, Hermione sat down at the table with her two friends, bushy hair bobbing with every step she took. Letting out a sigh, she shook her head at the quizzical glance Harry shot her, instead choosing to examine the femininity of one of her best friends. While normally he was pretty, now that he had turned into a she, Harry was gorgeous! The bookworm would absolutely LOVE a body like that!

Shaking away thoughts as to why she would want a body like that, which strangely all seemed to have something to do with red, Hermione directed her attention towards the menu. She really wasn't that hungry. Her mind was begging her to analyze the situation, to see major changes, and her heart was telling her to get the heck out of this place, right now. She did neither, simply picking a soup, and sitting back in her chair to observe the others, one of her favorite pastimes.

Ron had his crimson head bent over the menu, most likely making a list of all the different kinds of food he wanted in his head. Potatoes, potato this, potato that. She could practically _hear_ his thoughts tumbling around and racing over each other.

Harry, however, was more reserved. He, well, no, it was **she** now, had only glanced at the menu, before looking away, staring off into some obscure thing in space. She looked pretty distracted, though that was reasonable, considering her current… situation. Internally, Hermione sighed. Situation aside, Harry really needed to eat more. She was far too thin, thought admittedly the thinness of her body looked much better in female form verses male. Normally, Harry looked quite skin and bones, and they were always ragging on him about it.

Hermione sighed, playing with a curly brown lock absentmindedly. No matter how this turned out, she just wished it wouldn't have happened at all. She was worried about Harry being apart from them, and with good reason, after all. He was so, well, scarred from his past. Literally **and** figuratively! He was a tad mentally unstable, and that worried the two friends much more than they let on. After all, Harry had almost killed some jerks named Crabbe and Goyle. And they were pretty much made of muscle.

And then there was the fact that Harry and Ron were much closer than any friends or brothers were. Sometimes she felt left out, but even if they did have feelings for each other that extended beyond platonic, she knew they'd never act on them. Ron was far too scared of hurting Harry, and Harry would be far too embarrassed to act on it, plus the fact that the youngest of the trio would be afraid of damaging their friendship.

"-ermione, earth to Hermione!" Ron's voice cut off her rather long train of thoughts, and her brown eyes blinked, seeing Ron's freckled hand waving in front of her face. "Merlin, I thought you'd be permanently out of it!" Harry giggled, and then immediately looked mortified, turning Weasley red. Ron grinned at Harry, wiggling his eyebrows. "Well my fair lady, you are becoming more fair every moment," he said in a falsetto Lockhart (who was the womanizer of the town) voice, taking Harry's hand and patting it gently.

Hermione rolled her eyes, and smacked him on the back of the head.

Yeah, it's just a short chapter, but it's a bit of an interlude from Hermione. She was the easiest one to explain things with, and I felt like writing with her! ^^ She was a struggle, though, so I might not write with her except with interludes. So far, Ron's POV is my fave, but I'm thinking that Howl's might be fun!

School has already started for me, on Monday, so updates may come less frequently, though I will do my best to write often.

The whole Ron/Harry thing in here makes me want to write an abused Harry/Ron fanfiction… Maybe later…

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Harry Potter, aged eighteen, disappeared on the train ride to Hogwarts before the beginning of his seventh year. Severus Snape wanted to stop it, but didn't. Just when Harry thought his troubles were over, he finds himself battling a young (but no less dangerous) Lucius Malfoy and a bizarre attraction to Snape, of all people. HarrySnape.

**Next Chapter: **_Lunch, note writing, and the beginning of the "Hunt for Howl"! ™_


	4. Snakes, Scarecrows, and Storms

And here is the next chapter! I was quite hoping to put Howl in this one, but I don't believe he'll appear till the next… Should I write the next from Howl's viewpoint? I think it would make the story a bit more interesting, because, at least to me, it seems terribly slow…

Oh, and by the way, I wasn't feeling overly inspired for this, so I went back and read every single review… XD I find it very funny that when Howl is mentioned, there are far more reviews.

xxxWWGCHxxx

Harry was bored. Absolutely and utterly bored. He had thought that when you were about to go off on some sort of adventure, some daring quest in order to restore life, or at least your gender, your time was filled with maps, strategic planning, and choices of weapons. That's how it was in the books, or at least the stories that the wounded soldiers brought home.

Apparently not, however. Currently, he was just holding open a bag, where Hermione continued to dump things that she considered 'essential'. At a bundle of what looked like cotton sticks, Harry opened his mouth to ask, but then shook it and decided against it. Truly, he didn't want to know. The boy turned girl shot a look over at Ron, who was sitting at Hermione's kitchen table. Discarded letters littered its pine surface, as well as the blue carpeted floor below it. Seriously ('no pun intended,' he thought with a twinge), why couldn't he help? But no, Hermione was worried that if he knew what was in the letter, the stupid curse might prevent him from giving it to Howl.

He sighed. Paranoid, much? "I've got it!" his freckled friend yelled, jumping out of his seat and brandishing the apparently completed letter fiercely, a victorious look on his face. Both Harry and Hermione jumped, the former because he was too close and felt as if his eardrums would split open, and the latter because of her fraying nerves.

"Ronald!" Hermione admonished, advancing on him with a predatory glint in her brown eyes, and her bushy hair ruffling dangerously. "Must you really scare us like that?"

Gulping, Ron took a few steps back, clearly afraid of an angry Hermione who had stretched nerves and was close to the breaking point. "Err… sorry?" he offered lamely, brandishing the letter as if it were a peace offering.

Hermione opened her mouth, looking as though she were about to give him a sever talking-to, before thinking better of it and closing it with an audible snap. Snatching away the letter, leaving Ron with his arm outstretched, relieved look on his face, her brown eyes poured frantically over the paper, growing more pleased with every word she read. Far too quickly, at least, that's how it seemed to Harry, she was beaming, delighted. "It's great, Ron, absolutely perfect!"

With that, she promptly hugged him. While Harry was used to her hugs, and she did them quite often, the redheaded boy didn't seem to know what to do for a moment, before, inventing a new shade of Weasley red as he did so, hugging her right back. As the hug began to last longer than the normal length, and neither of his friends looked close to letting go anytime soon, Harry sniggered, sending the two promptly jumping apart, beet red.

Harry grinned mischievously, sending them both looks, making them darken even further, before turning to Hermione, having not given up yet. "So, can I read that letter?"

"No!" she told him, crossing her arms as if it were final. Of course, Harry would never let it go with just that.

"Come on, 'Mione! What harm could it do?"

His bushy-haired friend huffed, rolling her eyes slightly. "Plenty." Ignoring his protests, she turned to Ron, whose face was slowly regaining its normal color. "Ron, get out."

He turned to her, scowl covering his freckled face. "Why is that, 'Mione? I'm as much in this as you are!"

To her credit, the girl wasn't rude to Ron. "Well, Ronald, seeing as Harry is now a girl, at least temporarily, I need to talk to him about the changes happening in his body." The color swept out of Ron's face, while Harry blanched. Hermione, however, shrugged. "So, I thought I'd have a little girl talk. If you want to stay, you can…"

Ron was gone before she even finished the sentence.

**-WWGCH-**

After a very embarrassing, possibly mentally-scarring conversation that Harry had buried deep, way deep into his memory and would be happy never to remember again, it was time to go. For him, that was. He was very adamant that his friends not go with him, and Hermione and Ron, who had returned, face redder than his hair, after some crying on Hermione's part, ended up giving in. The Boy-Turned-Girl had pulled the "family" card on them, saying how they couldn't just leave them, even with a note.

Then Ron had tried to turn the tables and flip it on him, but thankfully since Harry didn't have any real family, and though Mrs. Weasley was amazing and he wished she was his real mother, she tended to tip-toe around him after the whole "getting him away from the Dursleys" thing. She was just as mothering, and loved him the same, but she tended to be a tad cautious around him, like he was one of Fred and George's handmade bombs waiting to explode.

She was awkward with him, just hadn't quite figured out where his limits were. Normally, she would probably never care, but when the older red-haired woman read his medical record… He should just say that heads were rolling, that was for sure.

Now, with Harry winning all the arguments, though his two friends were still determined to come after him if a month went by and he didn't return, at first, it was a week, before he shot them down, it was time to go. Dressed in a dark green dress that Hermione steadfastly claimed "matched his eyes", the Boy-Turned-Girl fidgeted, uncomfortable, as his brunette friend double checked to make sure that nothing was, well, that he was proper.

Sighing, the hatmaker turned his eyes on Ron, begging for reprieve. "Come on, 'Mione. Harry's fine," the redhead told her, only to be greeted with a very enraged Hermione.

"Ronald Bilius Weasley!" she yelled at him, while the boy in question looked at least slightly relieved that there were no others in the Grangers' simple kitchen. "We need to make sure! He's going to Howl! What if, What if…" Quite a change from her anger, Hermione's bushy hair seemed to wilt as she worried her lip between her teeth, blinking back tears.

Ron, seeming regretful of his words now that she looked to be crying, stretched a hand forward, as if going to touch her, but drew back. He really didn't know how to deal with crying girls, with Harry being the exception. The boy in question spoke up, attempting to reassure his friend. "Hermione, I'll be fine," he told her, stepping across the wooden floor and taking one of her hands in his own. "If Howl goes pervy on me, well, I've got my invisibility cloak, don't I? And besides, you guys are coming after a month!"

Hermione sniffed, not her usual information sniff, but one that signified that she was about to cry. And cry she did, throwing her arms around Harry and hugging him tightly. The boy didn't even stiffen, used to her pouncing on him like that. "Oh, Harry! You have to be careful! You have to!"

Patting his friend encouragingly on the back, Harry shot Ron a look over the brunette, his expression blatantly screaming 'Help me!' The redhead merely snorted, quietly, of course, not wanting to bring 'Mione's wrath down upon himself again. With a long suffering internal sigh, the Boy-Turned-Girl spoke up, his expression resolute. "Hermione, I've been in worse scrapes. I can survive this, can't I?"

She pulled back, looking down on him, instead of up, as she normally would. Her eyes were red, and slightly puffy, as the bushy-haired girl worried her lip. Harry knew that she hated thinking about what he'd been through at the Dursleys, as both he himself and Ron did, but it was necessary in this case, that was for sure. "H-Harry…" she sniffled, releasing him in order to attempt to regain her composure. "J-Just, be careful, okay? You're so brave, and so loyal, and…" Hermione's lip quivered, signifying another cry coming on, but Ron decided to actually be nice and rescue his best friend.

"Harry, mate, you got to go soon." Both of them looked up at him, surprised at his interference. "If you don't get moving, you'll have to spend the night outside." The redhead shrugged, seemingly nonchalant, but Harry could see the pain and worry hidden just underneath. He was much better at hiding it than the only real girl in their group, but Harry could still read him, being the as close as they were.

"I'll be fine, I promise," he told the two of them, disentangling himself from Hermione, and hefting his bag onto his shoulder. At their two disbelieving looks, he felt a spark of irritation, though he knew it was only with worry over him. "Honestly, I will be. You two made sure I have everything, the note's in my pocket, and I know exactly where I'm going. Worrywarts." The boy added the last part underneath his breath, but judging by the tightening of 'Mione's lips, and the scowl forming on Ron's face, they had heard him.

Attempting to diffuse the situation, and perhaps escape from their anger, Harry decided to speak again, trying to make his eyes as wide and innocent as possible. Hermione snorted, but Ron actually blushed. Was it because he was a girl now? "Please, I promise I'll be careful. Remember, if I'm gone a month, then you come get me, okay?"

Ron didn't look happy, once again reminded of this fact, but he sighed, uncrossing his arms. "He's right, 'Mione. We should just let him go." Hermione looked quite scandalized by this fact, opening her mouth to speak, but the redhead beat her to it. "He'll be fine. He has to be." His best friend sounded defeated and sad, so Hermione, perhaps realizing this, shut her mouth, taking a deep breath.

"Fine. You need to go, Harry," she told him in a tightly controlled voice, as if shutting the lid on her emotions.

"I'll be fine, 'Mione," he told her, stepping through the tiled kitchen, mentally bidding the green walls good-bye before stepping out onto the porch. "I'll stay safe, I promise."

Her lip quivered once more as she and Ron followed him outside. "I'll hold you to that, you know."

The Boy-Turned-Girl grinned at her, his eyes shining with false brightness. "I know you will, 'Mione." The boy felt vaguely uncomfortable, unused to good-byes like this, but pressed onward, now turning to his best friend, Ron. "Take care of yourself, Ron," Harry told his best friend, feeling an unwelcome tightness in his (very different) chest.

The redhead merely nodded, hesitating for a moment, before pulling Harry in for a quick hug, releasing him from his strong arms very quickly. Ron's face was covered in an embarrassed blush, inventing a new shade of Weasley red as he refused to look at his surprised friend's face. "Just… be careful, mate," Harry found himself told, and the raven haired boy (girl?) merely nodding, feeling as though something in his throat was choking him from the inside out.

Not allowing himself to talk, Harry stepped down off of the porch, setting a rapid uphill pace, even though he was unused to walking and knew he would pay for it later. The two stares of his best friend's were feeling heavier and heavier on his back, and he feared that if he turned around, he'd go flying down the slope back to them, promising to never leave. Feeling the unusual weight of his chest, and the lack of weight between his legs, Harry kept walking, knowing he couldn't go back. Not until he had fixed this mess.

**-WWGCH-**

His legs burned, while his breath wheezed out of his lungs as he scrambled to gasp more air. Yeah, he had definitely been correct. Harry definitely shouldn't have walked so fast before, cause he was finally paying for it. Concentrating, and forcing his tired body to take yet another step upwards, the Boy-Turned-Girl cleared the top of the umpteenth hill, collapsing onto a rock that was embedded in the ground.

Merlin's baggy underpants, he was not ready for anything like this. Harry was used to sitting in a hat shop all day, well, making hats. When he went anywhere, the boy was used to taking the bus, not walking all that way. Obviously, he wasn't someone who did a lot of physical activity.

"_Sssstupid human…" _a voice came from nearby, making him jump. _"Easssssy catch…"_

"_Hello?" _Harry asked, his eyes wide as he looked around, trying to pinpoint the location of the person. _"Who'ssssss there?"_

There was a rustling in the bush right next to him, and the raven haired boy in a girl's body scooted to the edge of the rock farthest from it. Then, low and behold, a dark green snake head appeared out of the top of the bush, its tongue flickering out to taste the air, before it turned to Harry, whose face was stark white. _"A ssssssspeaker…" _ it hissed, its reptilian eyes becoming large. _"There'ssssssss more?"_

It could talk. It could talk it could talk it could talk it could talk it could talk! Realizing that he hadn't taken a breath since the snake had started talking, Harry sucked in a breath, his face returning to its normal coloration. A snake was talking to him? Once he got that through his brain, the Boy-Turned-Girl was calm. Honestly, though? He had turned into a girl! Nothing was really surprising anymore! _"Y-You can talk? I didn't know sssssnakesssss could talk…"_

The snake made a series of garbled hisses which Harry thought was laughing, but he wasn't sure. _"You are a ssssssspeaker. You ssssssssspeak my ssssspeak."_

Frowning slightly, the boy translated the sentences in his mind, his eyes widening as he understood them. _"I am ssssssssspeaking ssssssssnake tongue?" _ he exclaimed, startled at the possible revelation.

"_Yessssssssss…"_ the snake told him, sounded somewhat irritated. _"SSSSSSSSSSSSpeaker, I jussssssst ssssssssssaid that."_

Harry was now officially very confused. _"But how can I sssssssspeak a tongue that I don't know?"_ he asked quizzically, cocking his head.

The snake moved the top of his body in a funny bend, making Harry blink, startled. From what he was guessing, that was the snake equivalent of a shrug. Very very strange. _"It'ssssss the way sssssssssspeakersssssss are…"_ the snake hissed, still sounding irritated.

Great. He had a pissed off snake telling him that he could speak the snake language – and it was probably poisonous. Just peachy. Harry opened his mouth to maybe ask more about these 'speakers' that he apparently belonged to, when the snake hissed again, its tongue flickering out to taste the air once more. _"I sssssssenssssssse magic in you…" _ it hissed, making the Boy-Turned-Girl gape in surprise.

"_Magic?" _ he asked the snake, recovering momentarily. _"Like, I am a wizzzzzzzzzard?"_ Or was the snake just sensing the magic from the curse? It was possible, but for some reason, like a sixth sense of sorts, Harry didn't think so.

The snake in question nodded its flat head, staring at Harry with its non-blinking eyes. _"Yessss… If you are trained, you sssssssssssssshould be a wizzzzzzzzzard." _A wizard? Really? For a moment, the boy halted his thoughts, trying to think of where he could learn magic, someone he could learn it from, before inwardly laughing at himself. He was going to visit the wizard Howl, so he could tell him! Well… learn from him, until he was turned back into a boy. After all, Howl liked his little boys…

Shuddering at the mental picture that created, pretty much of him being bent over a table, with an older man… Well, it wasn't pretty. Maybe if it was someone younger? Picturing a fit man doing the deed, Harry nearly choked, face flaming at the thought of it. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts…

The snake, apparently irritated with being ignored, hissed quietly, before slithering out and onto Harry's arm. Immediately blanching, the boy didn't dare to move as the quite large snake pulled itself out of the bushes, slithering up his arm and gently relaxing around his neck. _"What issssssssss you called?" _the snake hissed quietly, lifted up its head off of his shoulder.

"_H-Harry…"_ he told it, not even knowing that you could stammer while hissing. _"What'ssssss yoursssss?"_

"_Nagini…" _the snake told him, before promptly curling up around his neck and falling asleep. Well, Harry thought it was asleep. It didn't close its eyes, and the boy thought he had her from Hermione doing one of her informational rants that snakes couldn't close their eyes. Most of the time, he didn't pay attention when his bushy-haired friend got in a mood like that, but it was really hard to tune out every part of it.

Standing up, and trying not to jostle the snake, Harry took a few steps in one direction, before a hissing noise from around his neck forced him to stop. _"Harry…" _Nagini hissed, freezing the boy in his tracks. _"There'sssssss a magic sssssssstraw body in the busssssshesssssss." _

"Magical Straw Body?" Harry voiced out loud, slightly confused, before shrugging and turning out. Well, he was going to shrug, before he remembered the snake around his neck, and stopped himself immediately. Kneeling down slightly, and wincing as Hermione's voice instructing him not to get the dress dirty rang through his mind, the Boy-Turned-Girl began pushing through the branches of the bush, frowning slightly as he revealed the turnip head of a scarecrow.

"A scarecrow? Really?" Feeling as though he should at least humor the snake, so it didn't like eat him, or anything, Harry pulled out the scarecrow, then immediately gasped in surprise as it wrenched itself out of his hands and began jumping. "A jumping magical scarecrow?" the boy spoke, awe dripping from his tone, though he felt as though he should begin getting used to this. Honestly, being flirted with by a wizard, turning into a girl by a witch, speaking the language of snakes, and now a jumping scarecrow? Yeah, it really shouldn't be that shocking…

"_Dragon…" _Nagini hissed, and Harry jumped, having forgotten about… it. The snake hissed in displeasure, causing the boy the hastily apologize, before it continued with what it was saying. _"He issssssss dragon…" _

"_Dragon?" _Harry asked, slightly suspicious of the name, but the snake didn't speak up again; perhaps it was actually asleep this time. Turning to the scarecrow, who had starting jumping in a steady beat, he spoke up again. "A high jump for no, two short jumps for yes," the boy instructed the magical scarecrow, before posing its question, assuming that the… creature couldn't understand snake tongue. "Is your name Dragon? The snake told me it was."

It hesitated a moment, jumping steadily, before speeding its pace up and jumping quickly, much to Harry's surprise. "Oh!" he exclaimed, his voice coming out more girly than he would've like. "I thought it was kidding," the Boy-Turned-Girl explained, feeling slightly foolish.

Unsure of what to do now that he had a magical scarecrow and a sleeping snake accompanying him, Harry opened his mouth to, well, say _something_, though he wasn't sure what, when overhead, thunder rumbled, and he jumped. Blinking up at the sky, the boy was startled when a raindrop plopped out of the sky, landing right on his nose. Was it raining? Another one fell, landing on his hand. Then his dress. Cheek. Eyelash. Shoe.

Yup, it was definitely coming down, that was for sure. _"Nagini," _Harry hissed, trying to draw the snake's attention, but even with those eyes wide open (now the Boy-Turned-Girl was **positive** that Hermione had said they had no eyelids), the snake didn't stir. Sighing, Harry turned to the scarecrow, Dragon, and lifted one eyebrow. "So, what about you? Do you know any place?"

Feeling ridiculously idiotic, talking to a scarecrow, though 'Mione would've begun an interrogation by now, note-taking and all, Harry was surprised when Dragon hopped twice quickly, signifying a 'yes'. It began to hop away, before stopping and turning to face the wet girl. Hastily, though careful not to jostle the sleeping snake, Harry scrambled to his feet, not looking forward to getting even more drenched.

It was pretty much pouring by now, a fact which annoyed the Boy-Turned-Girl to no end as his dress got steadily soaked, clinging to him and making him intensely uncomfortable. He was well aware that if he showed up looking like this back home, Dean and Seamus would've immediately jumped him, and while liking boys, Harry was highly aware of every curve showing through his plastered on dress. He didn't like it. Not one bit.

Jumping as thunder echoed over the plains, Harry slipped slightly in the mud, falling to his knees, before scrambling back up again, following the scarecrow, who seemed to be headed for a bunch of trees. The boy tried to grasp his thoughts about something Hermione had said, about lightning and trees, but couldn't remember it, his mind too preoccupied with the thought that she would _kill _him once she found out about the dress. Gulping in apprehension, Harry dashed after Dragon, all thoughts of Nagini discarded, though she woke up hissing, displeased. Dashing under a curve of a bough, Harry stopped, surprised.

Inside the bunch of trees, seven or eight of them, there was a small circular clearing, and in it were the remnants of a camp. A burnt out fire pit, surrounded by rocks, a bag of some sort, and a tent. A tent. Grinning at scarecrow, Harry felt positively delighted, ignoring Nagini's hissed displeasure, which was dying down now that she understood what was going on. "Thanks, Dragon!" he told the scarecrow, and the boy _swore_ that its stitched on smile grew a little bit bigger. Dismissing it to either a trick of the light, or magic, seeing as it was an enchanted scarecrow, Harry practically dove into the tent, paying no mind to who this might belong to or the mud on his clothing.

Collapsing on a bedroll inside, even though the only reason it was dark was the clouds in the sky, Harry listened to the sounds of the thunder, and the occasional flashes of lightning that he saw through the cloth. Nagini hissed grumpily as she slithered off of him, leaving Harry to curl up, swearing to himself that first thing in the morning, he'd go home. Definitely. Probably. Maybe. No?

xxxWWGCHxxx

Woo! I think that's my longest chapter yet, and I apologize for the delay. I was in a musical at my local theatre, which took up so much time I'm behind on school, so I probably shouldn't be writing this, and my cat died. :( Very sad.

But yay, more plot devices and characters! I was originally have Turnip-Head be his normal character, but… This is more fun! *giggles*

Plot Bunnies are also creeping up on me like none other, so if you have me on Author Alert, you might be seeing a bunch of random beginnings of stories. Unless I can restrain myself. Maybe. *ponders*

Please enjoy, and reviews make me want to write more. (Seriously, whenever I see a well written, thought out review, I feel guilty for not having updated yet.) Howl will be coming up next chapter, as well as another charrie from Harry Potter, taking the place of Howl's assistant person who I can't remember the name of. Cookies to the person who can guess him!


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